Common Questions & Answers
General Questions about Fantasy F**kwit
What exactly am I doing here?
Fantasy F**kwit is a game that lets you compete with friends, family and a complete bunch of strangers to pick a winning – or more accurately, losing – team of Premiership players. Unlike other ‘Fantasy’ games where you try to select the best players in a League, in Fantasy F**kwit your goal is to choose the players who are most likely to lose their next game, pick up red cards, give away own goals, miss sitters and generally behave like a Sunday afternoon pub team. Better still, you get to celebrate their off-the-pitch antics too: players pick up points for wrapping their cars round lampposts, cheating on their partners and generally doing the kinds of things people get up to when they have more money than sense.
How are points awarded?
Points are awarded for individual incidents such as bookings, assists for opposition goals and getting injured during the match warm-up – you can see the full list in our Rules section. In some cases, our 'expert panellists’ will be called upon to make a judgement on individual incidents, which they'll do their best to justify when they compile their Match Reports each week.
How do I find out how many points I scored?
Points and Match Reports are published at lunchtime on Mondays, with a further update after Monday night matches. Not exactly real-time, we know, but some of our panellists are still on manual typewriters.
How often can I change my team?
You can make four transfers every week. The transfer window opens at 12.01am on Tuesdays, if you're having trouble sleeping, and stays open until 11am each Saturday. Different arrangements will apply from November when the first batch of midweek matches begins.
Can I set up my own private leagues with friends?
Yes – it’s one of the main features of Fantasy F**kwit. As soon as you register you’ll be able to set up your own league and invite friends, family and workmates to participate. Everyone who registers also automatically gets their team entered into the main League.
Do I have to pay?
No, it’s free. Which is one reason why the prizes are pretty unspectacular.
There are prizes?
After a fashion. Prizes for the 2011/12 season will be announced in due course. Don't hold your breath.
Problems playing and registering
I registered at the Fantasy F**kwit website but haven’t received an email allowing me to activate my account
Unless we’ve suffered some kind of catastrophic meltdown, the email will have been automatically sent to you. Most likely, it’s in your spam box – look for an email from firstname.lastname@example.org. If you can’t see it there and you registered with a work address, try registering again with a private email address (and if necessary, check your spam box there). Otherwise, the most likely explanation is that you misspelled your email address – so again, best to register again.
I’ve selected my team, but when I press ‘save’ it keeps generating a ‘foul’ message. What’s wrong?
One of the rules of Fantasy F**kwit is that you have to register eleven players from at least five different Premiership clubs. The most common reason for an error message is that you’ve picked from less than five - or forgotten to select all eleven players plus a manager and referee.
I find someone’s comments in a forum offensive. What can I do?
Please report it to us and we will deal with it as quickly as possible. You can contact us by clicking on the ‘Report abusive content’ link at the bottom of each page.
I spotted some point awards that I think your ‘expert panellists’ missed. Are you interested?
Absolutely – please let us know via the ‘Tell us what we missed’ link in the right hand column, or use the ‘Feedback, link at the top of the page. If we agree with you, we may make a retrospective award. On the other hand, we may not.
I’ve run into a problem on the site - can I call you?
We don’t have a call centre and can’t offer telephone support right now – frankly, it was as much as we could do to build this website. But we are looking to hire a part-timer who can answer some calls, misunderstand your question, respond in an incomprehensible accent, read from an irrelevant script and then suggest you restart your PC. If anyone springs to mind let us know.