Wolves 2 - Blackburn 3

Brown Pants Sunday: the aftermath

Points Awards

• Disappointing player (3): M. Mancienne
• Missed chance (1): J. Roberts
• Minor handbags (1): K. Henry
• Miss by mile (1): J. O'Hara
• Miss by mile (1): J. Jones
• Assist (1): M. Mancienne
• Assist (1): J. Craddock
• Assist (1): G. Elokobi
• Assist (1): M. Mancienne
• Losing Team (1 each): M. Mancienne, J. O'Hara, W. Hennessey, C. Berra, J. Craddock, G. Elokobi, K. Foley, S. Ward, A. Guedioura, K. Henry, S. Hunt, S. Ebanks-Blake, S. Fletcher, and M. Jarvis
• Yellow Card (1): S. Hunt
• Yellow Card (1): K. Henry
• Yellow Card (1): J. Craddock
• Yellow Card (1): C. Samba

By Alan Wigley
Rarely do you witness home supporters celebrating a defeat so vocally. In a weekend that was billed as Survival Sunday – although Stressful Sunday or even Brown Pants Sunday might have been more appropriate – Wolves ended the season with a first-half performance of glittering f**kwittery, followed by a second half of pure pantomime.

Afterwards Wolves manager Mick McCarthy said he felt like waving his pants in the air – not an example many supporters would have followed, given that being just three minutes from relegation would surely have tested even the sturdiest supporter’s bowel movements.

3-0 down at home and staring relegation in the face was not a great way to end the first 45 minutes, and f**kwit points go to George Elokobi, Michael Manciene (twice) and Jody Craddock for their assists. Mancienne also earned three points as the most disappointing player – more accurately, sticking with the theme, he was crap – which was something of an achievement given that he was only given 45 minutes to stake his claim for the gong before being replaced at half time. Hopefully he enjoys his trip back down the M40 to Stamford Bridge.

Birmingham’s Jermaine Jones also got a point for finding Row Z, while Karl Henry picked up one for handbags.

Wolves started the second half in the relegation zone, until events around the country saw them move out of the table, aided by a superb set piece goal by Jamie O’Hara. With about 30 minutes they were again in trouble but needed just a single goal to send one of their local rivals down. And three minutes from time, Stephen Hunt come to the rescue with a super goal that meant survival for another season. It would be unfair to single out any of the Blackburn players for f**kwik points for an assist in any of the Wolves goals, partly because they were both well worked goals, and partly because your expert panelist had his hands covering his face in fear. We did see enough, though, to award Jason Roberts one point for a miss when he was one-on-one with the keeper, and another to O’Hara for finding Row Z.

After the goal, with both teams apparently safe, the remainder of the game saw Blackburn passing the ball around the edge of their penalty area, the Wolves players standing watching the grass grow on the halfway line – and the home crowd trying to work where that faintly unpleasant aroma was wafting in from…

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