Tottenham 2 - Birmingham 1
Brummies park the bus at cliff edge. Whoops!
Points Awards
- Yellow Card (1): B. Ferguson
- Yellow Card (1): L. Ridgewell
- Disappointing player (3): P. Crouch
- Missed chance (1): N. Kranjčar
- Missed chance (1): Y. Kaboul
- Assist (1): C. Gardner
- Assist (1): R. Johnson
- Assist (1): S. Larsson
- Assist (1): B. Foster
- Losing Team (1 each): C. Davies, S. Carr, L. Ridgewell, S. Larsson, C. Jerome, B. Ferguson, R. Johnson, K. Fahey, C. Gardner, B. Foster, M. Derbyshire, and J. Beausejour
- Yellow Card (1): M. Derbyshire
By Mat Snow
With more mind-bending variables in the last day of the relegation struggle than a best-of-five nude three-dimensional chess tournament played between Ryan Giggs, Imogen Thomas and Mr Justice Eady, Birmingham City came to Spurs with but one gameplan: to win — or, at least, not to lose — by not allowing the other side to score while hoping that God will sort out the rest.
It may have been the gameplan that over the previous 37 league games this season had left the Blues dangling over the drop, but they wouldn’t have been the first visitors to White Hart Lane since August to find it curiously effective.
But not this time. Waking from the narcolepsy that has made him a F**kwit managers’ favourite for his combination of snoozing, shirking and missing goals that Sandra Redknapp could have put away, Roman Pavlyuchenko scored a pair of peaches that kicked the Brummies in the plums.
His added-time second, helped by a deflection, found Birmingham keeper Ben Foster unsighted and the Blues back four stretched as they poured forward for a status-saving equalizer. But for the first, Sebastian Larsson gets an assist point for being bamboozled by Spurs’ Danny Rose, who laid the ball off to Pavlyuchenko, with both Roger Johnson and Craig Gardner earning another point apiece for standing off for a fatal moment. Foster should have done better too, so add him to the F**kwit scoresheet.
The goal which Birmingham fans thought had saved their season was a Craig Gardner screamer from the edge of the box through a packed area where, for once, no Spurs defender or keeper merited a F**kwit assist point for failing to prevent.
Misses? Just two: Younes Kaboul and Niko Kranjcar.
And the Most Disappointing Player? Not for the first time this season, Spurs’ gangling love god Peter Crouch was as limp in the box as a superinjunction in the Twitterverse. Still, got to love him; he may not look it, but he’s only human.
2 Comments
Reader Comments (2)
Afterwards loads of beer then agreeing that whoever wins the Championship Playoff final we will cycle to the game from Wolverhampton. Not too impressed about having to go to Swansea though. April 28th 2012 will be an interesting experience. Will have to keep reflecting on those Blue noses, Ben Foster lying flat out and the Pavlyuchenko goals. The picture of the Birmingham supporter dressed as a Nun praying is priceless.