Manchester City 1 - Blackburn 1

Hart picks up where Calamity James left off

Points Awards

• Yellow Card (1): P. Vieira
• Yellow Card (1): Y. Touré
• Yellow Bonus (1): Y. Touré
• Assist - 3 (3): K. Touré
• Assist (1): M. Olsson
• Assist (1): C. Samba
• Assist (1): G. Givet
• Assist (1): V. Grella
• Comedy value (1): J. Hart
• Comedy value (1): K. Touré
• Missed sitter (1): J. Jô
• Missed sitter (1): M. Diouf
• Missed sitter (1): N. Kalinić
• Miss by mile (1): E. Diouf
• Disappointing player (3): J. Hart
• Yellow Card (1): P. Chimbonda
• Assist - 3 (3): J. Hart

There are reasons why so many people dislike El-Hadji Diouf. High among them is the fact that on occasion, he’s an irritating little sod.

This game wasn’t even about Diouf – the f*kwit credits belong to the likes of Joe Hart, Kolo Toure, Carlos Tevez, Jo, and various members of the Blackburn defence – but it was the shaven-headed, piercing-eyed, perpetually-angry Senegalese striker who stole the final minutes as Blackburn tried to eke out a well-deserved 1-1 away draw. First he stood nose-to-nose with James Milner, blocking his attempted throw-in. Seconds later he fell under a challenge from Milner in a manouevre that several City players felt owed less to a crunching foul and more to a pair of Speedos and the Olympic springboard, perhaps with a touch of women’s synchronised swimming thrown in. It was hard to see who was right on that call, but his antics certainly generated results, earning Yaya Toure a yellow card for dissent and two f**kwit points.

Long before then, it was Joe Hart in the City goal who had led the scoring, demonstrating that every England hero is only as good as his next moment of f**kwittery. Hart may have shown signs on the international stage that England’s never-ending quest for a new Seaman, Shilton or Clemence between the sticks may at last be coming to an end, but here in Manchester he showed that the David James/Robert Green approach to goalkeeping is still very much alive, if not capable of kicking. After Morten Gamst Pederson had hoofed the ball upfield on 24 minutes, Hart inexplicably came racing out of his area, centre back Kolo Toure left him the ball, and somehow between them they conspired to leave Blackburn’s Nikola Kalinic free to sidefoot into an empty net. Three points to both Hart and Kolo Toure for their assist, plus a point apiece for comedy value.

Pederson set up another point-scoring round four minutes later when his long throw was headed out of the area, came back in and arrived at the feet of Mame Diouf right in front of goal. There, sadly, it stayed. Diouf wanted too many touches, struggled to get a clean strike on goal and scuffed wide, scoring one point for his efforts. El-Hadji Diouf then got a point for finding Row Z.

In the second half, Yaya Toure did his best to pick up an assist with an awful back pass that let in Kalinic again, but this time Hart denied both of them. Then it was Blackburn’s turn to give a master-class in f**kwit defending. No-one tracked Carlos Tevez as he broke to the right of the box – and more importantly, no-one tracked Patrick Vieira, who strolled into the box to blast home the ensuing cross from short range. Martin Olsson, Christopher Samba and Gael Givet each scored one point for an assist for failing to spot Viera (all 6 foot 3” of him), as did Vincenzo Grella, who was tracking Viera at the start of the movement and then inexplicably lost interest as he got towards the six yard box.

The game ended with four moments of near-high drama. Blackburn’s Christopher Samba, generally playing far too well to merit a second appearance on the F**kwit Index, stuck out a foot to block a Tevez shot and saw it rebound off his own goalpost to safety. Ten minutes from time he missed out on points again when he collided with Johnson in the box, but Johnson’s appeal for a penalty fell on deaf refereeing ears. So the points were shared instead first by Kalinic, who failed to convert inside from the six-yard box and picked up one for a miss, and then in the 90th minute by City’s Carlos Tevez and Jo. Nicking the ball over Blackburn keeper Paul Robinson, Tevez was blocked on the line from two yards out, recovered, and squared the ball to Jo, whose shot was charged down by Samba, earning him a point.

Yellows for Vieira and Pascal Chimbonda wrapped up the scoring, with Hart’s patchy game and sharp fall from grace ensuring he picked up three points for most disappointing player.
By David Lee 

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