Man Utd 4 - Blackpool 2

Evatt pokes out leg, trips up donkey

Points Awards

• Tabloid (5): R. Giggs
• Own Goal (3): I. Evatt
• Disappointing player (3): I. Evatt
• Assist (1): N. Eardley
• Assist (1): J. Evans
• Assist (1): N. Vidić
• Assist (1): I. Evatt
• Miss by mile (1): N. Nani
• Miss by mile (1): C. Adam
• Miss by mile (1): D. Berbatov
• Miss by mile (1): D. Berbatov
• Miss by mile (1): A. Anderson
• Missed chance (1): D. Berbatov
• Missed chance (1): G. Taylor-Fletcher
• Missed Goal (2): K. Southern
• Losing Team (1 each): C. Adam, A. Baptiste, S. Crainey, N. Eardley, I. Evatt, M. Gilks, B. Ormerod, K. Southern, G. Taylor-Fletcher, D. Vaughan, L. Varney, D. Campbell, M. Phillips, and J. Puncheon
• Yellow Card (1): D. Fletcher
• Yellow Card (1): M. Owen
• Yellow Card (1): D. Vaughan

By Gareth Evans
The Rapture may not have happened as promised at the weekend, but Ian Holloway’s Blackpool sealed their own Premier League fate with a big bang. Like a condemned donkey on the Pleasure Beach, Blackpool sprinted down the sands, bucked its rider and kicked a few deckchairs into the air before throwing itself into the North Sea. Entertaining for onlookers for sure – but doomed nonetheless.

While many eyes were on the mathematical complexities of the Premiership relegation zone, Keith Southern kicked off the far more important F**kwit proceedings inside of a minute when he was presented with a simple effort a few yards out which he somehow managed to side-foot wide, picking up two points for the miss. A couple of minutes later, a lunging Gary Taylor-Fletcher failed to stretch far enough, allowing the ball to fly across the face of goal when an extra prod of his big toe would have tapped it into the net. That earned him a point.

Ian Evatt – who was to pick up the gong for the most disappointing player – got on the scoresheet when he allowed Ji-Sung Park to wriggle past him to open the scoring for United, picking up a point for the assist. And in the final f**wit moments of the first half, Anderson scored one point for a shot that hit the corner flag, redefining the concept of missing by a mile, before Blackpool talisman Charlie Adam scored from an unstoppable free-kick to make it 1-1 at the interval, Nemanja Vidic picking up an assist for giving away the initial foul.

In the second half, United striker Dimitar Berbatov scored a second-half hat-trick of points for missing a couple of sitters and smashing one well wide. And Adam (2) and Nani also earned points for misses.

But the real F**kwit heroes came in the shape of messrs Evans, Eardley and Evatt, who all picked up assists. Jonny Evans failed to get close enough to Taylor-Fletcher, who gave Blackpool the lead, and Neal Eardley didn’t get back quickly enough to stop Anderson pulling United level. But the star of the show was Evatt, who, using the completely wrong leg, turned a ball into his own net to condemn his side to the drop, picking up three points in the process. Owen finished off the scoring as Blackpool’s donkey floated gently out to sea.

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