Liverpool 3 - Aston Villa 0

Gerard Who? Doesn't ring a bell, mate

Points Awards

• Missed chance (1): D. Kuyt
• Missed chance (1): S. Downing
• Missed Goal (2): S. Kyrgiakos
• Missed chance (1): S. Warnock
• Missed chance (1): S. Warnock
• Disappointing player (3): G. Agbonlahor
• Missed chance (1): S. Warnock
• 3+ Goals Bonus (1 each): B. Friedel, L. Young, R. Dunne, S. Downing, J. Carew, G. Agbonlahor, M. Albrighton, N. Delfouneso, S. Warnock, J. Collins, C. Clark, J. Hogg, S. Ireland, and R. Pirès
• Losing Team (1 each): B. Friedel, L. Young, R. Dunne, S. Downing, J. Carew, G. Agbonlahor, M. Albrighton, N. Delfouneso, S. Warnock, J. Collins, C. Clark, J. Hogg, S. Ireland, and R. Pirès
• Yellow Card (1): C. Clark

By David Longworth
All the talk was about Gerard “Ged” Houllier’s “retourner” to Anfield, but the crowd clearly wasn’t as excited as he was – with only 23,000 in their seats at kick-off compared to the 42,000 seats sold. Yeah it’s cold and the game’s on Sky, but give the fella some credit – he’s had triple heart bypass surgery and he’s still part of Liverpool’s history. What do you want – blood?

Many of the best players thought it was an event they could miss too, with Stevie Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Fernando Torres absent. Liverpool didn’t seem to miss them, though, with the team all over an under-par Villa.

Steven Warnock scored a hat trick of misdemeanours in the first half. First, he won a point for conceding the corner that led to David Ngog’s opening goal. Warnock turned into an onrushing Dirk Kuyt (isn’t he always?) who forced him to shepherd the ball out for the corner.

Warnock had a hand in the second too, pausing to raise a hand for offside as Ryan Babel wrapped a leg round him to bury the ball in the bottom corner of the net.

Villa were all hesitation and giving the ball away, while Liverpool appeared uncharacteristically solid and dependable. What was going on? Something about the fate of returning managers? How things have changed since Ged used to rule the roost here and scored five to Alavez’s four in the UEFA Cup final on the way to the “treble” (UEFA, FA Cup and League Cup – is that a real treble?).

Warnock – him again – managed to mess up once more, selling Marc Albrighton short to concede a fee kick from which Sotirios Kyrgiakos skyed an easy header to pick up 2 points.

After half an hour, the game had fizzled out. The second half – much like former teacher Ged – was also somewhat academic, with a third goal perhaps the pick of the bunch, set up by Ngog for Rodriguez Maxi. There was some hope that Jose Reina might mess up, this being the putative occasion of his century of clean sheets, but despite some early nervy clearances he barely had a save to make the whole match.

Other than that, Stewart Downing won a point as he ran on to a stray ball but spiralled it wide, while Kuyt similarly got in the way of a cross aimed for Ngog to boot a ball straight out for a goal kick. And Agbonlahor won most disappointing player – as Villa’s sole forward for much of the game, his name was hardly mentioned. Oh and he runs like a girl, all bottom wiggling and hips.

Which pretty much sums it up. Let’s hope Ged and Roy enjoyed their post-match glass of wine. Vive la difference. Plus ca change. And all that…

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